Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
像瘋了一樣。。。
想知道你是否還是一樣
有沒有學會比較堅強
你快樂的背後 有失望
你何曾在意當時我也是這樣被你傷
想明白為何對我那麼冷淡
有回來故事會不會是這樣
明知道你不會再回頭看
我還是一直以為一直以為有希望
像瘋了一樣 越想你就越心傷
我多麼愛你 卻難逃你的魔掌
像瘋了一樣 你缺少了安全感
你讓我多麼難堪 卻還是一樣把我傷
想明白為何對我那麼冷淡
有回來故事會不會是這樣
明知道你不會再回頭看
我還是一直以為一直以為有希望
像瘋了一樣 越想你就越心傷
我多麼愛你 卻難逃你的魔掌
像瘋了一樣 你缺少了安全感
你讓我多麼難堪 卻還是一樣把我傷
像瘋了一樣 越想你就越心傷
我多麼愛你 卻難逃你的魔掌
像瘋了一樣 你缺少了安全感
你讓我多麼難堪 卻還是一樣把我傷
The sweetest memories...
That I'm having in my life, was the 7 months with you. I finally have guts to read back all the post while we were together. I was smiling throughout the whole readings in my bed. So I decided to write this post although my eyes are barely open right now. It's just too excited that I wanted to write something...
Remember I said we all deserved to keep memories? No matter it has been good or bad? It's just a scar without pain by the end of the days. It reminds us to be a better person. I've found that there were more happiness compared to sadness while we were together. We might have some arguments sometimes but who doesn't? You may say that you've forgotten what we have gone through, but I just wouldn't forget for the rest of my life, because to me you are the most precious person that I love and care about. Even now and then, I shall never forget. I remember how I made you laugh, how did I managed to keep you warm. How I cheered you up. And how I learned all the sweet talks so hard to make you happy.And I also remember this icon- XD...These are all the sweetest memories to me B...I remember how we loved.
But still I found that I was not good enough to keep you feeling secure and happy. The old me was bad temper and stubborn. I thought I was good, good enough to walk with you for the rest of my life. I didn't give you any promises and I thought that you will have mutual understanding with me. I treated you as a worm in my stomach and expected you to know me everything. I pushed myself so hard to make sure that you won't compare me with the rest of your exes. But still...I have nothing different compared with them. I let you walked out of my life and didn't even brave enough to save you back.
I was having my biggest downfall ever since you have left me. I blamed it all on you. I forced myself to hate you so that I could move on. The more I pressured myself, the more miserable I was. Sooner, I have turned myself into a monster. Someone that I didn't even could recognize myself anymore. I've hurted my friends and family who loves me. Our kids are still having phobia whenever I raise my temper. I have turned KaKa into a nervous kid, even until now.
And then one day, when there was almost hopeless for everything, I told myself that I couldn't take it anymore. It is either I kill myself straight away, or I pull myself up. I read books and learned some meditation. Purpose was to cleanse away all my negative thoughts and all the traumas that I've been through. I finally found that all I have been went through, was actually the gift of my life, included you. It's God's will that wanted me to learn, to adventure what love is. To skills the power of love. Now I have found myself, the real me. Who live my life everyday with purpose. Who deserve the best. Who is loved...
Remember I said we all deserved to keep memories? No matter it has been good or bad? It's just a scar without pain by the end of the days. It reminds us to be a better person. I've found that there were more happiness compared to sadness while we were together. We might have some arguments sometimes but who doesn't? You may say that you've forgotten what we have gone through, but I just wouldn't forget for the rest of my life, because to me you are the most precious person that I love and care about. Even now and then, I shall never forget. I remember how I made you laugh, how did I managed to keep you warm. How I cheered you up. And how I learned all the sweet talks so hard to make you happy.And I also remember this icon- XD...These are all the sweetest memories to me B...I remember how we loved.
But still I found that I was not good enough to keep you feeling secure and happy. The old me was bad temper and stubborn. I thought I was good, good enough to walk with you for the rest of my life. I didn't give you any promises and I thought that you will have mutual understanding with me. I treated you as a worm in my stomach and expected you to know me everything. I pushed myself so hard to make sure that you won't compare me with the rest of your exes. But still...I have nothing different compared with them. I let you walked out of my life and didn't even brave enough to save you back.
I was having my biggest downfall ever since you have left me. I blamed it all on you. I forced myself to hate you so that I could move on. The more I pressured myself, the more miserable I was. Sooner, I have turned myself into a monster. Someone that I didn't even could recognize myself anymore. I've hurted my friends and family who loves me. Our kids are still having phobia whenever I raise my temper. I have turned KaKa into a nervous kid, even until now.
And then one day, when there was almost hopeless for everything, I told myself that I couldn't take it anymore. It is either I kill myself straight away, or I pull myself up. I read books and learned some meditation. Purpose was to cleanse away all my negative thoughts and all the traumas that I've been through. I finally found that all I have been went through, was actually the gift of my life, included you. It's God's will that wanted me to learn, to adventure what love is. To skills the power of love. Now I have found myself, the real me. Who live my life everyday with purpose. Who deserve the best. Who is loved...
Weekend ranting...
Went out with J last night. We went to Damansara Jaya and had few jugs of beers. She seems a bit moody at first she called me. So later when we met she told me that she is having her first day period, usual la...a lil bit of hormone imbalance...
Met a few friends there which I haven't seen for years, was mingling around. Then J saw a friend that we both knew as well. She started to come and chit chat with her for the whole night and left me aside. Sometimes touched my hair a while, sometimes held my hand, but the attention was still with that friend. We didn't talk much about the incident that happened few weeks ago. Just pretend nothing ever happened. After we finished the 3 jugs of beers, she told me that her friend L was asking us to go to another place. At first I was thinking maybe another pub or what, who knows it is a mini casino at ss2. I was a bit angry when I walked in and saw that kinda scenery. Cause I don't fancy all these stuff. Although there are unlimited beer supply. But it was bored. L started to lose quite alot of money, she kept swiping her card and ended up lost 18k. Imagine...how good if I've got 18k to spend instead of feeding this stupid machine. And J...also campur tangan for 'giving support'! I hate to see this and yet I was the one who drove her there so I just can't leave her there and go home. I have to wait...until she saw me fishing at the corner, then only she decided to leave...
To me, it was supposed to be another pleasant night to spend with my painkiller. But once I've seen her started to make so many excuses so that she could stay and gamble, I decided that I am not gonna take this pain killer anymore. Another thing is, she kept telling me who and who is going after her, who and who always humsup her, Ms.S wanted to patch back with her so badly.... whatever things that can possible make me jealous, I just smiles to her that's it.
Yes, I might be a vinegar pot sometimes but depend on who is that person. Wouldn't be bother so much if you don't really care about that person. She might can be a very good friend of mine, nothing else. Yes, this is my decision! And I've got no bad feelings towards my decision at all.
So while I was feeling so bored at the casino, I posted a status to my fb. Without sober, half drunk and half sleepy...I wrote: Yes I want you, but you are not the most I wanted. Not before, not presence and not in the future.
I knew she read that post. I was notified that she also posted a comment, but she has removed it as well. Although I couldn't see what she wrote, but definitely she has already angry with me. Is ok...this is what I want, right? No point to waste the time with someone that you don't love, or nothing in common with you. I just have to say...I love you J, sorry, please forgive me & thank you...The ho'oponopono...
Was kinda hung over this morning, til my alarm clock rang until burst I also didn't realize. So...I missed a day work. Supposed to be a shitty day, woke up with so much guilt. Then Anne called, said she is just at the cafe that outside of my house, with Nicole. Asked me if I wanna join. I said I had enough drinks last night and feeling so shitty. She asked me to join and eat over there. So I went. They already started to drink in the afternoon. I ordered a coffee and food. Mati mati also refused to drink no matter how they tempted me. I told them about the last night incident and some conversations that slowly brighten me up. I told Anne before, whenever I sees illuminating, I feels loved. I asked her to find a sign also. So she picked beeboobeeboo...a police car or an ambulance sound. That's how the way my bro sending her love...hahaha. Sweet though...And Nicole picked a sunny day, which is sweet also.
Just when we talked happily, I received a message from B. It's just some question that she wanted me to answer, but to me, the surprise really made my day. I was jumping up and down like crazy, I was smiling all the way til I reached home. Feeling so blessed and happy...thank you, thank you & thank you...woohoo~~~
What a wonderful day, I told her...although it was raining for the whole day. Although Nicole didn't see any clear sunny sky for few days already, although Anne don't hear any beeboobeeboo...But 3 of us was so cheerful, and we laugh all the way home.
Met a few friends there which I haven't seen for years, was mingling around. Then J saw a friend that we both knew as well. She started to come and chit chat with her for the whole night and left me aside. Sometimes touched my hair a while, sometimes held my hand, but the attention was still with that friend. We didn't talk much about the incident that happened few weeks ago. Just pretend nothing ever happened. After we finished the 3 jugs of beers, she told me that her friend L was asking us to go to another place. At first I was thinking maybe another pub or what, who knows it is a mini casino at ss2. I was a bit angry when I walked in and saw that kinda scenery. Cause I don't fancy all these stuff. Although there are unlimited beer supply. But it was bored. L started to lose quite alot of money, she kept swiping her card and ended up lost 18k. Imagine...how good if I've got 18k to spend instead of feeding this stupid machine. And J...also campur tangan for 'giving support'! I hate to see this and yet I was the one who drove her there so I just can't leave her there and go home. I have to wait...until she saw me fishing at the corner, then only she decided to leave...
To me, it was supposed to be another pleasant night to spend with my painkiller. But once I've seen her started to make so many excuses so that she could stay and gamble, I decided that I am not gonna take this pain killer anymore. Another thing is, she kept telling me who and who is going after her, who and who always humsup her, Ms.S wanted to patch back with her so badly.... whatever things that can possible make me jealous, I just smiles to her that's it.
Yes, I might be a vinegar pot sometimes but depend on who is that person. Wouldn't be bother so much if you don't really care about that person. She might can be a very good friend of mine, nothing else. Yes, this is my decision! And I've got no bad feelings towards my decision at all.
So while I was feeling so bored at the casino, I posted a status to my fb. Without sober, half drunk and half sleepy...I wrote: Yes I want you, but you are not the most I wanted. Not before, not presence and not in the future.
I knew she read that post. I was notified that she also posted a comment, but she has removed it as well. Although I couldn't see what she wrote, but definitely she has already angry with me. Is ok...this is what I want, right? No point to waste the time with someone that you don't love, or nothing in common with you. I just have to say...I love you J, sorry, please forgive me & thank you...The ho'oponopono...
Was kinda hung over this morning, til my alarm clock rang until burst I also didn't realize. So...I missed a day work. Supposed to be a shitty day, woke up with so much guilt. Then Anne called, said she is just at the cafe that outside of my house, with Nicole. Asked me if I wanna join. I said I had enough drinks last night and feeling so shitty. She asked me to join and eat over there. So I went. They already started to drink in the afternoon. I ordered a coffee and food. Mati mati also refused to drink no matter how they tempted me. I told them about the last night incident and some conversations that slowly brighten me up. I told Anne before, whenever I sees illuminating, I feels loved. I asked her to find a sign also. So she picked beeboobeeboo...a police car or an ambulance sound. That's how the way my bro sending her love...hahaha. Sweet though...And Nicole picked a sunny day, which is sweet also.
Just when we talked happily, I received a message from B. It's just some question that she wanted me to answer, but to me, the surprise really made my day. I was jumping up and down like crazy, I was smiling all the way til I reached home. Feeling so blessed and happy...thank you, thank you & thank you...woohoo~~~
What a wonderful day, I told her...although it was raining for the whole day. Although Nicole didn't see any clear sunny sky for few days already, although Anne don't hear any beeboobeeboo...But 3 of us was so cheerful, and we laugh all the way home.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Beautiful Tuesday...
Quack...quack...quack...(my ringtone)
Me: Arloo~~ Niu ma!
A: eh?? Niu pa...apa macam lu punya interview?
Me: ok lo...seems they quite satisfy with me lo...Have to wait for the second interview again, they said should be after the cny...
A: Oh...is everything fine, did u show your best?
Me: I've already blown very big lo...
Bla...bla...bla...
Me: Talking about your daughter ah...the 2 charsiew ah...(didn't even finished the conversation yet...)
A: Eh...I only got 1 charsiew with you ah! The small one is not from me ok?
Me: ...Then the big curly charsiew even more worst! She ate rubbish!!!
A: Ah! Talking about the big curly charsiew ah! Never live with me ok? You spoilt her!lols!!! Me good le! Cannot argue with me le?? I don't care ah! You don't beat them again ah! It's all your fault! You produced bad energy!
Me: What?? I've been very decent le...
A: I am sure because of you!
Me: Why me again? Because of you cannot meh?
A: YOU! YOU! YOU!
Me: Me lah! Don't forget your iPhone 4 is reaching my hand lo! Ngeks!!!
A: Aiyakk!! Kena tembak balik!!
Wahahhahaahhah!!! Both laugh alike...
Me: Eh babe! Tmr mau makan charsiew ah?
A: Pi lah!!! You know I don't eat pork.
Me: Ah then how come you produced pork?
A: Because her dad look like pork!!
Me: Nyah Seng!!!
Me: Arloo~~ Niu ma!
A: eh?? Niu pa...apa macam lu punya interview?
Me: ok lo...seems they quite satisfy with me lo...Have to wait for the second interview again, they said should be after the cny...
A: Oh...is everything fine, did u show your best?
Me: I've already blown very big lo...
Bla...bla...bla...
Me: Talking about your daughter ah...the 2 charsiew ah...(didn't even finished the conversation yet...)
A: Eh...I only got 1 charsiew with you ah! The small one is not from me ok?
Me: ...Then the big curly charsiew even more worst! She ate rubbish!!!
A: Ah! Talking about the big curly charsiew ah! Never live with me ok? You spoilt her!lols!!! Me good le! Cannot argue with me le?? I don't care ah! You don't beat them again ah! It's all your fault! You produced bad energy!
Me: What?? I've been very decent le...
A: I am sure because of you!
Me: Why me again? Because of you cannot meh?
A: YOU! YOU! YOU!
Me: Me lah! Don't forget your iPhone 4 is reaching my hand lo! Ngeks!!!
A: Aiyakk!! Kena tembak balik!!
Wahahhahaahhah!!! Both laugh alike...
Me: Eh babe! Tmr mau makan charsiew ah?
A: Pi lah!!! You know I don't eat pork.
Me: Ah then how come you produced pork?
A: Because her dad look like pork!!
Me: Nyah Seng!!!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Beautiful Monday...
Me: morning niu ma...
A: morning niu pa!
Me: ......
A: lols...
Me: hahaha...blush!
A: Btw, What my daughter want for CNY ah?
Me: No need la babe...She needs your love...
A: I don't see her enough, :(...
Awwww... This is too sweet to resist! XD
What a wonderful morning that melted by a beautiful lady...
A: morning niu pa!
Me: ......
A: lols...
Me: hahaha...blush!
A: Btw, What my daughter want for CNY ah?
Me: No need la babe...She needs your love...
A: I don't see her enough, :(...
Awwww... This is too sweet to resist! XD
What a wonderful morning that melted by a beautiful lady...
Sunday, January 16, 2011
等。。。
有些話妳選擇不對他說
妳說某種脆弱 我才感同身受
我永遠都願意當個聽眾
安慰妳的痛 保護著妳從始至終
就算 妳的愛 屬於他了
就算 妳的手 他還牽著
就算妳累了 我會在這
一人留 兩人疚 三人遊
悄悄的 遠遠的 或許捨不得
默默的 靜靜的 或許很值得
我還在某處守候著
說不定這也是一種 幸福的資格
至少我們中還有人能快樂
這樣就已足夠了
有些話我選擇保持沉默
別把實話說破 隱藏我的寂寞
妳的情緒依然把我牽動
躲在妳心中 角落的心事我能懂
就算 妳的愛 屬於他了
就算 妳的手 他還牽著
就算妳累了 我會在這
一人留 兩人疚 三人遊
悄悄的 遠遠的 或許捨不得
默默的 靜靜的 或許很值得
我還在某處守候著
說不定這也是一種 幸福的資格
至少我們中還有人能快樂
這樣就已足夠了
不知道 不知道 不知道
為什麼 為什麼 我的愛
我的愛還留不住妳的離開
卻總在 等帶著妳回來
一人留 兩人疚 三人遊
悄悄的 遠遠的 或許捨不得
默默的 靜靜的 或許很值得
我還在某處守候著
說不定這也是一種
得不到的 卻美好的
至少我們中還有人能快樂
這樣就已足夠了
至少我們中還有人能快樂
這樣就已經夠了
妳說某種脆弱 我才感同身受
我永遠都願意當個聽眾
安慰妳的痛 保護著妳從始至終
就算 妳的愛 屬於他了
就算 妳的手 他還牽著
就算妳累了 我會在這
一人留 兩人疚 三人遊
悄悄的 遠遠的 或許捨不得
默默的 靜靜的 或許很值得
我還在某處守候著
說不定這也是一種 幸福的資格
至少我們中還有人能快樂
這樣就已足夠了
有些話我選擇保持沉默
別把實話說破 隱藏我的寂寞
妳的情緒依然把我牽動
躲在妳心中 角落的心事我能懂
就算 妳的愛 屬於他了
就算 妳的手 他還牽著
就算妳累了 我會在這
一人留 兩人疚 三人遊
悄悄的 遠遠的 或許捨不得
默默的 靜靜的 或許很值得
我還在某處守候著
說不定這也是一種 幸福的資格
至少我們中還有人能快樂
這樣就已足夠了
不知道 不知道 不知道
為什麼 為什麼 我的愛
我的愛還留不住妳的離開
卻總在 等帶著妳回來
一人留 兩人疚 三人遊
悄悄的 遠遠的 或許捨不得
默默的 靜靜的 或許很值得
我還在某處守候著
說不定這也是一種
得不到的 卻美好的
至少我們中還有人能快樂
這樣就已足夠了
至少我們中還有人能快樂
這樣就已經夠了
Healing wounds...
I found a painkiller called J. It could temporary ease my pain. Let me forget about I am in pain for a while. I know this is not the best way for healing, but at least it helps a bit.
I know I should remain positive. I've got nothing to lose. All I need now is a little bit more time to digest. Acceptance is always the best medicine. Since that I have accepted who you are, I've got nothing to fear about. The love is always there, no matter how u treating me, how u look at me. Let the time prove to you the new me.
The piggie box that I sent, is actually a God Box. I've made myself one too. Whenever I am upset with something or wanna ask something from God, I will write a note and put in the box. And say thank you, God. Please take my fear or problems away. When I kept the note in the box, I will let it go. Never re-open back the notes again, unless you wanna take over the problems again from God. It helps. Anyone who is reading this should try. Just go and find yourself a box that you like, any box.
The sample of the God Box that I've made for Ally...
I cutted a hole at the top so that she could just easily slot in the notes.
Then keep in a place that you feel safe, that's it.
I know I should remain positive. I've got nothing to lose. All I need now is a little bit more time to digest. Acceptance is always the best medicine. Since that I have accepted who you are, I've got nothing to fear about. The love is always there, no matter how u treating me, how u look at me. Let the time prove to you the new me.
The piggie box that I sent, is actually a God Box. I've made myself one too. Whenever I am upset with something or wanna ask something from God, I will write a note and put in the box. And say thank you, God. Please take my fear or problems away. When I kept the note in the box, I will let it go. Never re-open back the notes again, unless you wanna take over the problems again from God. It helps. Anyone who is reading this should try. Just go and find yourself a box that you like, any box.
The sample of the God Box that I've made for Ally...
I cutted a hole at the top so that she could just easily slot in the notes.
Then keep in a place that you feel safe, that's it.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
A word to Mei...
Thank you Mei, without your help and effort, I don't think I could made this by myself. And also, I don't think that this idea would be as smooth as what it came out. Although I don't know you before. But I have never seen a shop assistant is such a great helpful and nice just like you. Thank you.
I wish you happy deliver for your coming new born baby, peace and joy. God bless...
I wish you happy deliver for your coming new born baby, peace and joy. God bless...
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Fear...
You are right West, I shouldn't fear. I shall confront it. I should give a little bit more faith and believe that I'm gonna be just fine...
It's 1.44am, what am I still doing here?
It's 1.44am, what am I still doing here?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
New journey...
Started my new job. First day was on the 5th. Nothing , just feeling a bit exhausted. Still trying to adapt to it. Learn as fast as possible. As foresee now, everything seems tough, first day already heard so much of the politics, felt so much bad energies flowing around, but I have to carry on. No matter how hard it is. I want to build my better future, so lets get start here.
New office is in SS19, a memorable place. Good thing is that, I've got no more bad feelings in it. It's just a place anyways. Still missing her as usual, but I am much more in enjoying this feelings. No more pain...
Without the past experience...there will be no more new Hippo Tan, I'm just glad that I am happy with what I am now. Thank you, and I love u, B.
J call me again while I was on my way back. Asking me if I want to join her for a drink again tomorrow night. I am still considering. Recalling back what had happened last Saturday night, I am still freaking out. What have we done after a couple of drinks. I just feeling not right, it's kinda weird. I am actually single, but I'm feeling kinda unfaithful, *sweat*... Although Bees comforted me by saying that," there's no big deal big kid. It's just a kiss anyway...Why are you acting like u just got rape?" LOLZ!! Maybe a couple years back I have got no problems with handling all these kinds of stuff, it's just weird to me now.
I've been sleeping very early these days, around 11.30pm. Back to a normal life, wake up at 6am and working 6 days a week. My life is in peace like a still water...
New office is in SS19, a memorable place. Good thing is that, I've got no more bad feelings in it. It's just a place anyways. Still missing her as usual, but I am much more in enjoying this feelings. No more pain...
Without the past experience...there will be no more new Hippo Tan, I'm just glad that I am happy with what I am now. Thank you, and I love u, B.
J call me again while I was on my way back. Asking me if I want to join her for a drink again tomorrow night. I am still considering. Recalling back what had happened last Saturday night, I am still freaking out. What have we done after a couple of drinks. I just feeling not right, it's kinda weird. I am actually single, but I'm feeling kinda unfaithful, *sweat*... Although Bees comforted me by saying that," there's no big deal big kid. It's just a kiss anyway...Why are you acting like u just got rape?" LOLZ!! Maybe a couple years back I have got no problems with handling all these kinds of stuff, it's just weird to me now.
I've been sleeping very early these days, around 11.30pm. Back to a normal life, wake up at 6am and working 6 days a week. My life is in peace like a still water...
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The Reward...
It is good when you wanted to buy something special for your love ones. Especially you knowing that she is gonna love this gift so much. When I visualize it when she receive this gift, the way she smiles, that would be the best reward for me. It just melted me down.
When you care about somebody. When you feeling so presence about this love feelings. No matter how hard you wanted to find that gift, no matter how tough you have been looking for it, even google also you couldn't find it, but you will still keep searching, never give up. Never complaint about walking all over the town just to look for that stuff. Yet, end of the day, you will still smiling all the way home.
I don't expect anything in return, but I am sure you gonna smile. I already got rewarded.
只要能再有一次機會，將一生感動全部讓你擁有。
When you care about somebody. When you feeling so presence about this love feelings. No matter how hard you wanted to find that gift, no matter how tough you have been looking for it, even google also you couldn't find it, but you will still keep searching, never give up. Never complaint about walking all over the town just to look for that stuff. Yet, end of the day, you will still smiling all the way home.
I don't expect anything in return, but I am sure you gonna smile. I already got rewarded.
只要能再有一次機會，將一生感動全部讓你擁有。
Monday, January 3, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
2011...my first post...
Hello 2011! I'm glad that finally you're here...too many things I wanted to say, but I just feel blanked all in the sudden.
Yes...there is no turning back, not even worth to turn back, and no point to look back also...things that happened with what so ever reason, is already a past-tense. You cannot change the fact, so darling, why don't you just accept them as the part of your history and let it go? Why you choose to let your ego to control your emotional? Yes, sometimes you might feeling regret, for what you've done. And you wanna turn back...believe you me, things will keep repeating and same problems may occur again.
What I'm trying to say is, accept the fact, forgive and let go...Do not hide the ugly feelings. Then only you can face the same person or same situation with an opened heart again...with no criticism and guilt. That you will not make the same mistakes again, because you are living with your brand new you.
I love you as who you are B. But I am begging you to love yourself, to accept yourself, to value yourself. You deserve an abundance of love, you deserve all the good things, you deserve a joyful life. You deserve someone that appreciate you as who you are, love you deeply and giving all the best to you. Look at what you are having now, family and friends that love you, a good career, your car, your house, that you can breathe, you can eat, you can buy whatever that you like, sometimes go for a small vacation, and most of all...you are healthy. No one could take away all these things that you are having right now unless you don't love yourself. And I am sure, you are not gonna get hurt again.
I always ask myself, what I really want in my life? And my answer is always you. You are the one I'm dying for...the love to you is unconditionally, and no one could ever replace. I was too fear to show all my feelings especially to all my love ones. Because I found that to show them how much I love them is to show them how weak I am. And It proven I was wrong...it was not helping me at all and I ended up lost you. My ego has sending all my love ones away from me. There is always something for us to learn in every scene in our life, and you are a very special gift to me, to learn what love really is. That is to accept who you are and heal your wounds with the abundance of love...
Do not fear, that fear would only sending all the great things away from you. Do not hurt yourself, because you don't deserve it. All you need to do is a little steps forward, open your heart and the path is always there, just for you. I know you can, I've got the faith in you. It's ok to feel happy, cause this is what you supposed to be. It's ok to feel a lil emo sometimes, I know you're brave enough to face it.
And the last thing for tonight that I wanted to say...is...I'm always here. I've never leave you alone, not even once. Just bare in mind, you're not alone. Although you don't see me anymore, you don't talk to me and you don't feel me, but I am here.
-With love...
Yes...there is no turning back, not even worth to turn back, and no point to look back also...things that happened with what so ever reason, is already a past-tense. You cannot change the fact, so darling, why don't you just accept them as the part of your history and let it go? Why you choose to let your ego to control your emotional? Yes, sometimes you might feeling regret, for what you've done. And you wanna turn back...believe you me, things will keep repeating and same problems may occur again.
What I'm trying to say is, accept the fact, forgive and let go...Do not hide the ugly feelings. Then only you can face the same person or same situation with an opened heart again...with no criticism and guilt. That you will not make the same mistakes again, because you are living with your brand new you.
I love you as who you are B. But I am begging you to love yourself, to accept yourself, to value yourself. You deserve an abundance of love, you deserve all the good things, you deserve a joyful life. You deserve someone that appreciate you as who you are, love you deeply and giving all the best to you. Look at what you are having now, family and friends that love you, a good career, your car, your house, that you can breathe, you can eat, you can buy whatever that you like, sometimes go for a small vacation, and most of all...you are healthy. No one could take away all these things that you are having right now unless you don't love yourself. And I am sure, you are not gonna get hurt again.
I always ask myself, what I really want in my life? And my answer is always you. You are the one I'm dying for...the love to you is unconditionally, and no one could ever replace. I was too fear to show all my feelings especially to all my love ones. Because I found that to show them how much I love them is to show them how weak I am. And It proven I was wrong...it was not helping me at all and I ended up lost you. My ego has sending all my love ones away from me. There is always something for us to learn in every scene in our life, and you are a very special gift to me, to learn what love really is. That is to accept who you are and heal your wounds with the abundance of love...
Do not fear, that fear would only sending all the great things away from you. Do not hurt yourself, because you don't deserve it. All you need to do is a little steps forward, open your heart and the path is always there, just for you. I know you can, I've got the faith in you. It's ok to feel happy, cause this is what you supposed to be. It's ok to feel a lil emo sometimes, I know you're brave enough to face it.
And the last thing for tonight that I wanted to say...is...I'm always here. I've never leave you alone, not even once. Just bare in mind, you're not alone. Although you don't see me anymore, you don't talk to me and you don't feel me, but I am here.
-With love...
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