Hello 2011! I'm glad that finally you're here...too many things I wanted to say, but I just feel blanked all in the sudden.
Yes...there is no turning back, not even worth to turn back, and no point to look back also...things that happened with what so ever reason, is already a past-tense. You cannot change the fact, so darling, why don't you just accept them as the part of your history and let it go? Why you choose to let your ego to control your emotional? Yes, sometimes you might feeling regret, for what you've done. And you wanna turn back...believe you me, things will keep repeating and same problems may occur again.
What I'm trying to say is, accept the fact, forgive and let go...Do not hide the ugly feelings. Then only you can face the same person or same situation with an opened heart again...with no criticism and guilt. That you will not make the same mistakes again, because you are living with your brand new you.
I love you as who you are B. But I am begging you to love yourself, to accept yourself, to value yourself. You deserve an abundance of love, you deserve all the good things, you deserve a joyful life. You deserve someone that appreciate you as who you are, love you deeply and giving all the best to you. Look at what you are having now, family and friends that love you, a good career, your car, your house, that you can breathe, you can eat, you can buy whatever that you like, sometimes go for a small vacation, and most of all...you are healthy. No one could take away all these things that you are having right now unless you don't love yourself. And I am sure, you are not gonna get hurt again.
I always ask myself, what I really want in my life? And my answer is always you. You are the one I'm dying for...the love to you is unconditionally, and no one could ever replace. I was too fear to show all my feelings especially to all my love ones. Because I found that to show them how much I love them is to show them how weak I am. And It proven I was wrong...it was not helping me at all and I ended up lost you. My ego has sending all my love ones away from me. There is always something for us to learn in every scene in our life, and you are a very special gift to me, to learn what love really is. That is to accept who you are and heal your wounds with the abundance of love...
Do not fear, that fear would only sending all the great things away from you. Do not hurt yourself, because you don't deserve it. All you need to do is a little steps forward, open your heart and the path is always there, just for you. I know you can, I've got the faith in you. It's ok to feel happy, cause this is what you supposed to be. It's ok to feel a lil emo sometimes, I know you're brave enough to face it.
And the last thing for tonight that I wanted to say...is...I'm always here. I've never leave you alone, not even once. Just bare in mind, you're not alone. Although you don't see me anymore, you don't talk to me and you don't feel me, but I am here.
-With love...
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