Went out with J last night. We went to Damansara Jaya and had few jugs of beers. She seems a bit moody at first she called me. So later when we met she told me that she is having her first day period, usual la...a lil bit of hormone imbalance...
Met a few friends there which I haven't seen for years, was mingling around. Then J saw a friend that we both knew as well. She started to come and chit chat with her for the whole night and left me aside. Sometimes touched my hair a while, sometimes held my hand, but the attention was still with that friend. We didn't talk much about the incident that happened few weeks ago. Just pretend nothing ever happened. After we finished the 3 jugs of beers, she told me that her friend L was asking us to go to another place. At first I was thinking maybe another pub or what, who knows it is a mini casino at ss2. I was a bit angry when I walked in and saw that kinda scenery. Cause I don't fancy all these stuff. Although there are unlimited beer supply. But it was bored. L started to lose quite alot of money, she kept swiping her card and ended up lost 18k. Imagine...how good if I've got 18k to spend instead of feeding this stupid machine. And J...also campur tangan for 'giving support'! I hate to see this and yet I was the one who drove her there so I just can't leave her there and go home. I have to wait...until she saw me fishing at the corner, then only she decided to leave...
To me, it was supposed to be another pleasant night to spend with my painkiller. But once I've seen her started to make so many excuses so that she could stay and gamble, I decided that I am not gonna take this pain killer anymore. Another thing is, she kept telling me who and who is going after her, who and who always humsup her, Ms.S wanted to patch back with her so badly.... whatever things that can possible make me jealous, I just smiles to her that's it.
Yes, I might be a vinegar pot sometimes but depend on who is that person. Wouldn't be bother so much if you don't really care about that person. She might can be a very good friend of mine, nothing else. Yes, this is my decision! And I've got no bad feelings towards my decision at all.
So while I was feeling so bored at the casino, I posted a status to my fb. Without sober, half drunk and half sleepy...I wrote: Yes I want you, but you are not the most I wanted. Not before, not presence and not in the future.
I knew she read that post. I was notified that she also posted a comment, but she has removed it as well. Although I couldn't see what she wrote, but definitely she has already angry with me. Is ok...this is what I want, right? No point to waste the time with someone that you don't love, or nothing in common with you. I just have to say...I love you J, sorry, please forgive me & thank you...The ho'oponopono...
Was kinda hung over this morning, til my alarm clock rang until burst I also didn't realize. So...I missed a day work. Supposed to be a shitty day, woke up with so much guilt. Then Anne called, said she is just at the cafe that outside of my house, with Nicole. Asked me if I wanna join. I said I had enough drinks last night and feeling so shitty. She asked me to join and eat over there. So I went. They already started to drink in the afternoon. I ordered a coffee and food. Mati mati also refused to drink no matter how they tempted me. I told them about the last night incident and some conversations that slowly brighten me up. I told Anne before, whenever I sees illuminating, I feels loved. I asked her to find a sign also. So she picked beeboobeeboo...a police car or an ambulance sound. That's how the way my bro sending her love...hahaha. Sweet though...And Nicole picked a sunny day, which is sweet also.
Just when we talked happily, I received a message from B. It's just some question that she wanted me to answer, but to me, the surprise really made my day. I was jumping up and down like crazy, I was smiling all the way til I reached home. Feeling so blessed and happy...thank you, thank you & thank you...woohoo~~~
What a wonderful day, I told her...although it was raining for the whole day. Although Nicole didn't see any clear sunny sky for few days already, although Anne don't hear any beeboobeeboo...But 3 of us was so cheerful, and we laugh all the way home.
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